Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Burn-out

Well, considering 2013 is halfway over already, I figured it's about time I wrote something in my poor neglected blog.  I have some serious ambition to go back and post pictures, and some kind of synopsis of what happened in the last year or so.  I really would like to print out some of the blog for journaling/family history type purposes.  My problem seems to be finding the time for it.  I've toyed around with the idea of quitting facebook, since it's like a black hole that sucks you right in.  There's no such thing as "checking really quick".  But then I like the way I've been able to reconnect with old friends, and stay in touch with others after various moves.  Such a double edged sword.  Anyway, what's really on my mind is burn out.  Namely, gymnastics burn out.  Bryan is going into his 5th competitive year, and boy am I feeling it.  It seems like everyone's worry is always with the kids burning out.  I know it's something that's never far from our minds.  Finding the balance for Bryan to train hard, push himself, be pushed, to reach his potential, without over doing it.  It's such a fine line between too little and too much.  And yet it seems like the one struggling with burn out most right now is me, not him.  Bryan's hours just went up to 19.  Per week.  And we no longer have a car pool, because one kid moved and the other switched gyms.  Add to that the fact that during the summer, practice is during the day, so it's not like I can go drop him off and Dave can pick up after work.  Nope, I get to do all the driving back and forth.  It's not horribly far, between 15-20 minutes one way, but it adds up.  And that's just for gymnastics.  There are also piano lessons, grocery shopping, and Tyler and Kaylee just started Kuk Sool martial arts, which I have to occasionally take them to.  So yeah, I'm running low on gas (...).  Mostly it's the gymnastics that wears on me, though.  I never would have dreamed just how much goes into having a child in a seriously competitive sport.  And we're only halfway in, if Bryan chooses to continue pursuing this passion of his.  He loves it.  It's expensive.  It involves a fair bit of travel.  Our entire family schedule seems to revolve around his gym schedule.  We constantly have to reevaluate where he is at, how things are going, what we can do to support him.  It's emotionally draining.  Did I mention it's expensive?  I can't help but wonder sometimes why we are all doing this.  And then he goes out there, and you watch him compete, and he has fun.  He does well.  He has so much talent.  And he really, really loves it.  It would break his little heart if we told him no more.  So we continue to support him, encourage him to do his best.  Of course, gymnastics is so much more than just a sport.  In some ways, it really becomes a way of life.  Those boys learn valuable lessons, things that will hopefully help them throughout their lives.  But right now, I'm burned out.  I love to watch him train, I love to see him compete, but I wish we could have some kind of break.  Sometime.  While we wait for that to happen, here's a video of his Regionals meet.  And that's why we do this, I suppose.  :)

2 comments:

Karin said...

Oh Doreen. I almost hesitate to say it, but your post reminds me of how I often feel with Buggy. I am constantly having to gauge how she is doing, the family revolves around how she is doing, and she costs *a lot* of money. :-) And I get tired.

So I do something to refuel and start it all over again. :-)

Miss you! I really have to plan a trip with you next year.

Doreen said...

Karin! My little burn-out "trial" (not that it really deserves that word...) pales in comparison to what you're going through (and have been for nearly 8 years!). At least I have the option of putting an end to it all, you don't. I wish we were still neighbors, and I could just come take B off your hands from time to time. I love that girl, but having a special needs child adds a whole different dimension to parenting. And yes, we do need to plan something! You are welcome here anytime, and we'll be in UT for a week next summer. Maybe we can meet-up. :)