Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Did you hear that noise???

Yeah, that was my jaw hitting the floor. I'm completely speechless. Really.

10 comments:

Kermit~the~Frog said...

Are you speechless because of the increase or because of the author's contempt for breastfeeding advocates, whom he so *nicely* refers to as Nazis?

Gotta admit, the "callous wench" line made me chuckle.

Jeannie said...

:O :O wow.

If you click on the guys name at the top you can email him....I am going to as soon as I can compose something that doesn't use any inapporpriate language towards him.....

Fine if you don't agree/want to breastffed, however, his tone and language (Nazi for one, ) is completely unacceptable.....

wow.

KarateMommy said...

that's horrible

Doreen said...

Still trying to figure this one out. Part of me just wants to laugh, the other part is, well, a bit angry. Is he for real? Seriously? Those were my initial thoughts. I always have a hard time with the way people use "Nazi" so freely. Nazis were people who killed others. Stuffed them in concentration camps and put them in gas chambers. I mean, really, how does this come even close to describing even the most serious lactivist? Maybe me being German makes me a little more sensitive to the misuse of the word, I don't know. I just think it's totally inappropriate.

Science Teacher Mommy said...

The tone of the article is atrocious. I have to admit, however, that when I switch my kids to bottle feeding I feel incredibly guilty, even when making the move has always been better for me, the baby and my family. I'm not sure if the guilt is internal? Social? Coming from other women? Biological? It would be an interesting topic for further, academic (as opposed to reactionary) study.

And the loose use of the term "nazi" is an American pop culture thing, unfortunately. There was a Seinfeld episode years ago where there is a really militant middle eastern man running a soup kitchen that makes amazing soup, but he is strict about who he'll feed. They start calling him the "Soup Nazi" and, as with many things from that show, it has entered our popular venacular. It is an unfortunate that "Nazi" has been given such liscence. Still, this casual, pop-culture use of it is unexcusable in a news story (even an on-line publication), he is probably thinkiing more in terms of this lower-case "nazi" sense of the word. And yes, I'm sure you view it differently because you are German, but Americans do need to be more sensitive about slang that infiltrates our language.

The worst part is, that if women did write in to protest or even calmly explain why he is such a moron, this man would just take it as proving his point that women who think babies should be breastfed ALL fit some kind of unfair stereotype.

Doreen said...

STM, I would love to see research on exactly where the guilt comes from. I think a lot of it is socially induced. With Tyler, I never thought much about switching him from breast to bottle. Since then, I've become much more aware of the whole breast vs. bottle "debate". As you know, I'm a huge advocate for breastfeeding. However, I don't think it's right to guilt women into it. The problem is how to encourage breastfeeding without inducing guilt. How do you present facts, proven by research, without making women feel guilty when they can't/choose not to breastfeed? I do still strongly believe that the aggressive marketing of formula is wrong. And it bothers me that doctors will give out breastfeeding advice that is not only wrong, but can be detrimental to a breastfeeding relationship. Those are things I have real issues with. I do believe that if hospitals stopped handing out formula samples, and doctors stopped endorsing it, we would see a rise in breastfeeding initiation rates. Formula is always going to be there for those who decide to make the switch. It's a lot more difficult to change your mind once your milk is gone, know what I mean?

Anyway, topic for another post, haha. Ultimately, what's most important is that we parent our children to the best of our ability, and if that involves formula feeding, then that's what needs to happen. :o)

Hanna said...

oh my gosh, DOREEN! That was seriously horrible. I'm so sick of things like this.

I have NEVER made anyone feel guilty for their decision to breastfeed or stop breastfeeding. On the other hand, I have been ridiculed, glared at, outright lectured, and made to feel like a child-abuser for nursing my almost 2-year-old son. For some reason, I don't think the mainstream media is really sticking up for me on this one.

I think the guilt thing is really interesting. To me, guilt is feeling badly when you make the wrong choice. IF bottle-feeding "was the right choice for me and my baby" like so many mothers claim, then REALLY why the guilt?

I also get really tired of the picture being painted of a nursing mother handcuffed to her baby for 30 minutes every two hours of the day. Unless she is turning the pages with her boobs - I can't see why a mother can't read to her toddler while she nurses. With a sling, I have cleaned my house, played at the park, worked as a mortgage funder, and folded laundry - all while nursing, just like millions of nursing mothers around the world.

If I were a first-time mother being presented with this article, I would probably be scared off breastfeeding forever.

wow-sorry, you lit my fire :p

Doreen said...

Hanna, loved reading your reaction to the article. :o) I think the guilt issue is a little more complex than that, though. Sadly, I think the moms who truly can't breastfeed are probably the ones who feel the most guilt. Like somehow they've failed their baby. I don't think it's the kind of guilt you feel for making a wrong choice, but more like the "mommy guilt" for knowing you're not, for whatever reason, giving your baby the very best. You're settling for second best. Baby still gets the nutrition needed, just not the benefits of breastmilk. So you feel guilty, even if there was nothing you could do about it. Does that make sense?

kanaboke said...

of all the "kakamaimey" (how in the world do you spell that word anyway?) things I've read...and a male's written it to!! Figures! Also, I bottle-fed Bubba and never once felt guilty..maybe because I was too happy that other people could help me feed that lil boy that wanted to eat every hour for the first 6 months of his life....hmmmmmm....

Science Teacher Mommy said...

I hope to one day get to a place where I am secure enough about myself and my place in the world that the guilt I feel is only real guilt (the kind that comes from a pricking in my spirit), and not the socially-induced guilt. For me, guilt has never been simple.

I think you are right on the money Doreen when you talk about the need for educating mothers and not handing out formula at the hospital. I think mothers--especially new ones--need to know there are lots of different approaches to feeding a baby. And I don't just mean bottle vs. breast, because there are lots of shades in between, particularly once baby gets really efficient at nursing. I think a lot of new mothers DO worry that they'll be attached at the breast to their baby forever if they choose nursing. This fear of never having a moment to yourself or your body back is very real, at least it was to me. This fear, and lack of female support from women I actually felt comfortable being around and having this conversation wtih, made my nursing experience with number one incredibly difficult. There was more resentment than bonding for a long time and the back pain was chronic from my severe tension. I don't think I went a day until I weaned #1 without taking an ibuprofen at least once. My experiences #2 and #3 were MUCH better, but I think, for me, it was because I wasn't afraid to give a bottle when I felt exhausted or snarly or depressed. So while Mommy's mental health was better, the nursing inevitably ended sooner. That's why I say it was best for us, while freely admitting that I wasn't 100% available to my baby: I never had enough left over for anybody else when I tried that approach.

Truthfully, I never have felt that comfortable with a baby. I love my little guys, but that first year to me always feels like a dog-year. *Sigh* More mother-guilt.