Sunday, September 30, 2007

Assumptions

Are a terrible thing. Something happened to me at church today that really brought that point home. Anytime you assume something about someone, nothing good comes of it. A lady at church today openly accused me and told me to stop doing something (well, more like saying something). She had overheard bits and pieces of conversations I was having with other people, and assumed I was talking badly about something. Well, I was not. In fact, I was doing the opposite. I was talking about a very positive change that had happened, and how happy I was about it. I openly told her so. That was about all I could do before having to leave the room and bursting out in tears. She could have come to me privately and asked me if anything was the matter. Instead, she publicly told me "stop bashing such and such". Talk about humiliating. The situation could have been handeled so differently. Obviously, there was a misunderstanding. A few words, spoken between just me and her, would have clarified the situation and no feelings would have been hurt (on either side). Instead, I left feeling humiliated, embarrassed, and wondering what on earth just happened. She did come and apologized later on. I suppose I should forgive her (and I pretty much have), but it hurt nonetheless. So please, don't assume things about people. If you're confused, go talk to them privately, in a non-accusatory way. Don't go gossipping, and don't go being all offensive about something. Most of the time, it's a simple misunderstanding that can be cleared up in no time, with no hurt feelings...

7 comments:

Meems said...

I have a feeling she just got offended recently or had a bad experience that made it come out to fast and blunt.
Ack, so sorry!

3in3mom said...

HUGS, no fun. Good advise for everyone.

Karin said...

Bummer,I'm sorry. Just one more experience to help us remember what and *who* is really important in situations like this. All of our relationships (even casual ones) should be handled with tact, genuineness and love. I know I've been the one to say things too quickly sometimes, I just hope it didn't ruin a potential friendship.

miranda said...

That's rough. But you are handling it well. And you have good advice. It's probably a good time for me to evaluate what I think I "know" and determine whether some of it might be an assumption...

Keith and Nicci said...

Sorry to hear that :(. Those situations are never fun.

Science Teacher Mommy said...

And at church especially.

Doreen said...

It just so took me by surprise, it seemed to come out of nowhere. Almost unreal...